Learn how to use a dildo for maximum self pleasure

My discreet newsletter will teach you how to give your partner back-arching, spine-tingling, screaming orgasms.

Sex toy stores offer an abundance of dildos, both online and locally. Sleek steel, colorful silicone, and glass in all shapes and sizes are just the tip of the iceberg. Perhaps you’ve purchased one because you’re excited to embark on a new journey of self-exploration through masturbation and orgasms. This page will teach you everything you need to know on how to use a dildo for maximum pleasure.how-to-use-a-dildo-illustration Maybe you’re an old pro who wants to learn some new tricks to keep play time from becoming routine, or perhaps you find that imitating sex just doesn’t do anything for your G Spot when using a dildo. No matter, these techniques will help you to increase pleasure when using your dildo, and we’ve got a few tips to get the most out of your masturbation ‘jam sessions’.

BEFORE YOU BEGIN

Setting the Mood – If you’ve ever closed the blinds, turned down the lights and lit a few candles before sex, you know how much a change in ambiance can help your mood. The same applies when you’re flying solo. Light a candle, put on some sexy music and dim the lights if it helps you. Lock the door so you don’t have to worry about someone barging in.

Playing with your dildo and correctly hitting you G Spot can lead female ejaculation [1] (learn more on how to squirt from this detailed guide), so you might feel more comfortable letting go if you lay down a towel before you get started. Pick up your favorite erotica story or book to kick things off. Just make sure not to get any lube on the pages!

If you want to give your lover back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep them sexually obsessed with you, then you can learn these sex techniques in my private and discreet newsletter. You’ll also learn the 5 dangerous mistakes that will ruin your sex life and relationship. Get it here.

I cover many different techniques in detail on how to get yourself in the mood in this section of the Vibrator Guide. You may also be interested in checking out this article on how to make yourself horny.

Choosing the Right Dildo – When choosing the right dildo for you, you’ll find a vast array of shapes, sizes, and types of dildos. The only important thing is choosing one that suits your needs and desires.

If you prefer hard stimulation, then selecting a hard glass, steel or wooden dildo makes sense. If you need extra sensation from it, then you’ll want to go for a vibrating dildo. If you like the feeling of being stretched, then go for a larger or inflatable dildo. One interesting study found that most dildos sold are about the average size of a man’s penis, which would suggest that the average size is what most women are looking for [2]. If you want clitoral stimulation during penetration then choosing a rabbit style vibrator/dildo makes sense.

Don’t Forget About Warmup – Before you start playing with your dildo, you might need to warm up first. This might mean manual stimulation (these masturbation techniques should help) along with having an orgasm or two (here are some deeply satisfying ways to finger yourself).

If you don’t produce much natural lubrication, then, grab some lube. Some of the reported benefits of using lube include increasing arousal/sexual pleasure/desire, making sex more fun and increasing physical comfort during sex [3].

OUR FAVORITE DILDO TECHNIQUES

Once you’re fully warmed up, then it’s time to try out some of these very pleasurable techniques.

1. DEEP THRUSTIN

deep thrusting dildo illustrationWhen learning how to use a dildo, you’ll find that this technique for using your dildo is exactly how it sounds. Thrusting along the entire length of your vagina can provide intense stimulation, especially with a dildo that’s textured.

Serious thrusting requires a toy with a core that’s firm enough not to bend; although, it doesn’t have to be rigid. Overly soft dildos can make this action more difficult, however. You might find heavily textured toys overwhelming, so opting for a smoother or curved dildo may be more comfortable rather than one with deep ridges or bumps.

2. SHORT AND SHALLOW

short and shallow dildo thrusting illustrationMost of the sensitive nerve endings exist in the first 1/3 of your vagina, so you don’t necessarily have to thrust deeply to get the most out of your masturbation session with your dildo. Short and rapid strokes mean your dildo isn’t barraging your cervix, and it might be easier on your wrists, too!

Remember that just because you can insert up to seven inches of a dildo doesn’t mean that you have to. Instead, you can use the extra shaft length to get a better grasp on the dildo.

3. ROCK IT OUT

dildo on bottom of vagina cross section illustrationJust because your dildo might be straight, doesn’t mean you can’t try other things. Rocking your dildo involves moving it back and forth at an angle so that the tip of the dildo is applying lots of pressure to the bottom of your vagina (posterior wall). So if you are lying down on your back, your dildo should be pointing down towards the bed as you start to push it in.

You’ll get a sensation similar to thrusting, but it can also provide clitoral stimulation and extra stimulation around the vaginal opening. Rocking works best with dildos that have a little give such as those made of soft silicone or with toys that are curved and intended for dual clitoral and vaginal stimulation.

4. KEEP ON TURNING

twisting dildo masturbation cross section illustrationThere is an entire category of dildos known as ‘juicers.’ They come with cranks, and you turn them around after they’re inserted. Most dildos will work with this motion as long as there isn’t a sharp angle that might be uncomfortable.

5. MILK THE G SPOT

g spot milking dildo cross section illustrationWhen you milk your G Spot using your dildo, you’ll drag the top part of the dildo across your G Spot as you pull outward. You can then push the dildo against the top part of your vagina (anterior wall) as you slide it back inside. You’ll get intense stimulation when using rigid toys made from glass, wood or metal. You can also buy dildos with a curve specifically for G Spot stimulation.

For a detailed guide on finding your G Spot and other techniques you can use to stimulate it, check out this guide.

You can also use a similar technique when stimulating a man’s prostate.

6. FILLING FEELING

filling feeling dildo masturbation illustrationYou don’t need motion to enjoy using your dildo. You can simply find one that feels comfortable when inserted and keep it there while you stimulate your clit to orgasm. The toy can enhance your orgasm even as it remains in the same place.

7. TEMPERATURE PLAY

fire-ice-cubes-watercolor-illustrationIf you’ve ever reached for a glass or steel dildo and your body practically went into shock because it felt so cold upon insertion, you might want to try warming it up to make things more comfortable. Temperature play is simply the act of changing the temperature of a toy. A cold dildo dragged across your nipples might be tantalizing while you might find yourself relaxed enough to take a larger toy if the surface has been warmed.

You can do this by placing your waterproof toys in a bowl of warm or cool water or simply in the stream of water from your faucet. Glass, steel, and ceramic are particularly responsive to temperature changes. Silicone and wooden dildos don’t offer much when it comes to playing with temperature.

Make sure to check the temperature with your hand before you insert any warmed or cooled toy, and never put your toy in the microwave or oven. That’s a sure way to invite burns inside your vagina and on your vulva. Don’t forget that if you don’t have a dildo, you can always just use your fingers instead, using the techniques I teach in this guide.

8. ANAL

anal masturbation with dildo illustrationIf you’re a fan of anal sex, then you will no doubt enjoy using your dildo for some anal pleasure. All the usual precautions apply here: make sure to use enough lube and make sure you thoroughly clean it afterward before using it on your vagina again. Check out our guide to anal masturbation for more tips.

9. DOUBLE PENETRATION

Double penetration with dildo butt plug illustrationMany fantasize about double penetration, so why not give it a try? There are four ways to enjoy double penetration with a dildo.

Two dildos, one inserted vaginally, one anally.
Dildo and butt plug.
Dildo and your fingers.
Dildo and your man.
Often it’s best to try this on your own first to see how it feels before trying it with your man (or men!). Again, the important thing to keep in mind is making sure that you clean everything that has been inserted anally before allowing it near your vagina.

10. PUT ON A SHOW

stagelight-curtains-illustrationAs men are turned on visually, a very fun and exciting thing you can do is to take all these dildo techniques and use them to put on a show for your man. You can do this while your man is lying in bed beside you but it also works well over Skype if you’re in a long-distance relationship (more tips on Skype sex here). You can even get him to lend a hand and help you out if you like if he’s right there beside you.

11. MIX IT UP & EXPERIMENT

sexy-wheel-of-fortune-watercolor-illustrationI keep repeating this throughout the Bad Girls Bible, but the most important thing you can do is to try out these ideas and experiment to discover new and more pleasurable ways to use your dildo both by yourself and during sex. You may find that deep, intense penetration gives you full body, shaking orgasms or you might discover that simply running your dildo over the outside of your vagina sends shivers down your spine.

12. ALL ABOUT THE A SPOT

It seems that all my students know about their G Spot, but most have never heard of the A Spot. This is another super sensitive and satisfying part of your vagina that you can use your dildo on. It’s located in a similar position to your G Spot, but deeper, right by your cervix. The most satisfying way to pleasure your A Spot does not involving thrusting your dildo in and out; instead try holding it on your A Spot and apply constant pressure. Some women need really intense pressure to find it pleasurable. Learn more about your A Spot here.

POSITION PERFECT

Before you write off a toy or technique, understand that it might work better in some positions, but not others. You’ve probably had to experiment with a position and pillows to line up just right with your partner, and the same is true when you are discovering how to use a dildo for maximum self-pleasure. If you have a rounder tummy, shorter arms or lack flexibility, you might run into some hurdles when it comes to using dildos. However, you shouldn’t let this stop you from finding what works for you. It’s the same philosophy you should have with choosing sex positions….and you can find over 100 different sex positions here, with pictures demonstrating each one.

1. Lying Down – Many people naturally masturbate facing the ceiling. It might not have the greatest view, but it often works swimmingly. Try pulling your knees to your chest to vary the angle and to provide more G Spot stimulation. You can also place a pillow beneath your hips or butt for easier access.

2. Facing Down – Alternatively, you can lie face down. If you have longer arms, you can reach over your back to thrust a dildo, or you can reach below you if that works better. Consider placing a pillow for support under your hips to raise your butt into the air for a better angle.

3. Sideways – Lying on your side with your legs pressed together can make your toy feel larger. It can also be easier than masturbating when face down. You can keep your legs straight or bend your knees to change it up. You can find more masturbation techniques here.

4. Sitting – We don’t just mean sitting with your feet flat on the floor. You can prop them on a wall, desk or table in front of you to offer unrestricted access with your dildo. This position also works well if you’re enjoying visuals on the screen in front of you.

5. Riding Your Dildo – Suction cup dildos offer a lot of options, too. You can stick them to your shower wall for hands-free stimulation or affix them to your coffee table and straddle them from above. This also leaves a hand or two free for clit stimulation. You’ll find some great clitoral stimulation techniques here.

FINAL THOUGHTS ON USING YOUR DILDO

Ignore the Instructions – Sex toy makers often brand G Spot toys with pink or purple packaging for women while toys with nearly identical shape come in black or blue for men to stimulate their prostate, which also benefits from a curved toy [4]. Ignore the gendered stereotype if you think a toy intended for male anal usage might become your G Spot’s new best friend.

You don’t have to follow the suggested use for a toy. It’s the curve that counts.

If you like running a textured dildo against your clit with your legs close together, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t! It’s precisely that type of experimentation that’s going to help you find the best techniques that work for you and your dildo.

What If You Don’t Like It? – Don’t stress if a certain technique never feels good for you. Even if your best friend swears by using a dildo hard and fast, it might not be your cup of tea. Furthermore, your body can respond differently for a variety of reasons. One day you might love milking the G Spot while the next it might feel irritating.

Factors like which phase of you menstrual cycle you are in [5], stress, fatigue, illness and your level of arousal all play into how good – or poor – a particular dildo session or technique can feel. Of course, the same is true for sex too.

Experimenting with a variety of techniques and positions means you can switch to something more gentle if your cervix is particularly sensitive or you discover new ways to pleasure yourself, so masturbation doesn’t become stale or routine.

You can also surprise a partner by introducing new techniques and toys – if he or she is comfortable with them – into the bedroom. You might become a better lover or be able to explain how your partner can better satisfy you after trying these tips. Almost all of these techniques can translate to a real live penis or vibrator (tips on using a vibrator for maximum pleasure here), but you don’t need any extras to have plenty of fun with a regular dildo whenever you have a few moments to yourself!