Sex toys are used in solo play but can spice things up when brought into play with a partner, too. Take your sex to the next level, but make sure that it’s mutual.
Are you daydreaming about bringing sex toys into your relationship or situationship? This guide can help you start the conversation and give you tips on bringing toys in during sex smoothly and with a sense of sex-positivity.
Create A Clear Line of Communication
Sex positivity is going to play a huge role in your upcoming adventures. Sex positivity gives us the voice and confidence that we need when we are introducing sex toys and new things into the bedroom.
Communication is a two-way street and lays a solid foundation into our relationships, especially sexual or romantic ones. The truth is that some partners might feel self-conscious when you bring up the idea of adding a sex toy or sex product into your sex life.
Some people (most people) will react to feeling inadequate or offended when all you are trying to do is bring more pleasure for both of you. Pleasure is a positive feeling and relaying to them that you enjoy what you already share can help them to understand that you just want to enhance your sex life together and not replace them.
You might try a phrase such as, “I love having sex with you. What do you think about trying out a sex toy with me?” Or, “you are amazing in bed, and I was wondering how it would feel to add in *fill in the blank* while you are *fill in the blank.”
Don’t force anything on them, or insist on trying something just because you want to. Open the discussion and allow them to express their feelings without being judged.
Introducing Sex Toys Into the Bedroom
If this is a sex toy that you already own, you will already know how to use it, and maybe how you get the most pleasure out of it. Or, maybe you will figure that out together.
It is up to the both of you how you are most comfortable with the actual introduction of the sex toy. Do you want to bring it out and get it ready before the sexy time starts, or would you/they prefer it to be a surprise while you are in the heat of the moment?
The good thing is that once you get through the discussion of sex toys, and bring the first one into play, it will be so much easier to discuss other toys.
The Best Sex Toys
How do you choose the best sex toys? There are so many on the market that it can feel overwhelming when shopping, especially if you don’t know what you are looking for.
Surfing through a reputable sex toy website that has the toys grouped into sections is not only more private than shopping at a sex store, but also makes shopping easier.
Check out toys that are high quality, have great reviews, and are sure to please.
Aside from sex toys, there are plenty of sex products that can enhance your time in the bedroom (or wherever you spend time.) Products such as lubes, massage oils, and handcuffs pair well with vibrators, cock rings, and anal beads!
Tapping into the world of adult toys for the first time, or with your partner for the first time is so exciting. It will be hard to focus on anything else once you start thinking about the possibilities; don’t say that we didn’t warn you!
Buy Sex Toys & Sex Products Together
You (or they) might have some of your own sex toys that you are bringing into the bedroom, and that’s great. But, buying toys and products together means that you can discuss them, choose different sizes, colors, or options before you are holding it in the bedroom expecting to use it.
After the toys have been delivered, unboxing them together can be a fun activity that gets you both in the mood and gives you both the chance to see the packaging and instructions together.
Flexible & Open-Minded
If your partner is not into the toy or how you want to use it- ask if there is a different way that you could use it that they might enjoy. What’s part of the world of sex toys is that you will get to expand yourself if you are flexible and try new things.
So, this is going to go the same way with you, though. You have to be understanding, flexible, and open-minded, as well.
The least you both can do is try something and be open to discussion if you are not into it. This might prove to be a chance for personal growth and breaking out of your shell or your box of usual acts in the bedroom.
Check In With Them
Ok, the toys are out, and they are being used. Now, how do you know if your partner is enjoying what is happening, or not? Check in with them and ask them.
This is a part of communication that gets lost or forgotten, sometimes. You might have a discussion before the toys come out, or later on. But, what about during the act?
Experts say that honesty is going to be the best policy while exploring sex toys. Whether you are shopping or playing, your partner will feel most willing to share with you if you let them know that you care about how they feel.
What’s Your/Their Safe Word?
In order to honor your partner’s and your own boundaries or feeling comfortable or pain, create a safe word to say when you want whatever it is that you are doing to stop.
This safe word can be the same for both of you, or you can each have your own. You can also use different safe words for different levels of comfortability.
But, make it a word that you would not normally use in the bedroom so that you can easily differentiate between pillow talk and safe words.
Being an Adult is Great!
Exploring the dos and don’t of introducing sex toys into the bedroom should be agreed upon by both (all) of the parties involved. But, beyond that there aren’t many rules- just have fun with it!
For a wide selection of the best sex toys, and novelties shop New Fine Arts, and feel free to ask us questions!