Do you enjoy BDSM? Be glad you’re in the year 2023, then. Up until 2013, the DSM treated those who enjoy leather and whips as mentally ill.
The thing is, the typical BDSM kinks are so mainstream as to become predictable these days. People get trussed up like birds, blindfolded, or handcuffed while the dominant partner gives them a new collection of bruises.
If BDSM feels old hat and has started to bore you, what other types of sexual fantasy can you experiment with?
Fear not, lovers of submission and domination. Let’s take a look at 7 kinky things to try when the ball gags and chains grow stale.
1. Get It On in a New Location
Sex is all about arousal and, most importantly, excitement. You don’t need to just spark excitement by ripping each other’s clothes off or using a sex toy. Just changing the venue can turn things up to eleven.
In particular, have sex in places where you shouldn’t. Not in public places where it’s illegal, mind. Rather, in places where you might “get caught.”
Stretch her out on the kitchen counter, or burn some calories in your tent while camping. Proximity to unsuspecting people or being in a common area can spark an adrenaline response.
Adrenaline is a key component of fear. It’s also, unsurprisingly, a player in the thrill of passionate lovemaking. Especially when you have to bang one out before someone (theoretically) walks in on you.
A word of warning: make sure those places are clean. Putting genitals on suspect surfaces could lead to nasty down-there infections!
2. Take a Golden Shower
Golden showers might sound like rich people scrubbing themselves clean in a fountain of gold coins. But it’s actually a urine fetish, one brought to light when a former president purportedly was enjoying it. That’s right, this is when your partner pees on you.
Look, urine is a bodily waste product, and something most aren’t thrilled to interact with. But the act of urinating on others is a fetish for a reason. People who try it out discover something they hadn’t expected to be, well, arousing.
Drink a bunch of water and then try it on each other in the shower. Make sure to clean well afterwards, launder your lingerie, and scrub the shower floor, too.
3. Give Anal Play a Shot
Many people are reticent to venture into anal play, and for good reason. That’s the poop hole, and it hurts after all that weekend Mexican food!
Two things: one, anal play can be clean and safe, provided you douche. Second, it can be very pleasurable when done right. The G-spot is easier to access (for men and women) through the rectum.
Your backdoor has a treasure trove of nerve endings. Ever heard of the “poopgasm?” There’s a reason that defecation can sometimes feel, counterintuitively, good.
4. Deny Orgasms
Orgasm denial is, as you might imagine, leaving your partner unsatisfied on purpose. It may sound like a terrible idea. That would ruin the moment and lead to blue balls, right?
Wrong! Orgasm denial has a number of benefits.
First, it makes sex last much, much longer. You can both extend your pleasure instead of orgasming and ending it there. This is known as “edging.”
Second, orgasm denial fits into a dominance kink. It’s perfect for you and a partner if you already have established roles. The dominant partner “gives permission” to come only at the right moment.
5. Try Your Sexual Fantasy
Even the most vanilla, missionary-position-loving Quakers have fantasies. We all do. Yet we hide them out of embarrassment and fear that fulfillment would be an unobtainable fantasy, too.
If your fantasy is within reason, find a way to fulfill it. Wish your partner would speak to you in French while force-feeding you baguettes? Head to the local bakery, crack open your dusty French dictionary and call her a salope.
Use this as a chance to experiment with new bondage tools. If your fetish is a bit unrealistic, find ways to make it realistic. Instead of a risky suffocation fetish, get her to “strangle” you in a playful, safe fashion.
6. Watch Porn Together
There are two people in this world: those who watch porn and those who lie about watching it. Porn (provided you don’t get addicted) can spark your imagination and inspire you. It provides great fuel to keep yourself aroused during the act.
So, try watching it together instead of apart. Seeing what your partner likes can help you understand how to better please them. It works in reverse, too.
Plus, it removes the shameful feeling that a person gets watching porn alone. It breaks down barriers, relieves tension, and adds a new tool to your repertoire. When you make porn into a couple’s activity, you make it into a more positive influence on the relationship.
Use it as a starting point for a steamy session or as a way to get ideas. Make love while watching it in the background. The possibilities are endless.
7. Use a Sex Toy
There’s a huge stigma around sex toys, and that’s a shame. For centuries, self-pleasure has been treated as self-pollution and a corruption of sex’s purpose. We live in the modern era, luckily, so you can dispense with that hogwash like you should.
Sex toys are tools that can open the doors to things you never thought were possible. They allow you to add new methods of stimulation, stimulate new areas, and keep things rolling after your body gives out.
Experiment with new sex toys. Dildos, butt plugs, and cock rings are all proven implements for a safe, pleasurable experience.
Find More Kinky Things to Try at New Fine Arts
The old BDSM tricks might leave you feeling that you’ve used up all the novelty in the bedroom. Instead of giving up, use this list of kinky things to try in the bedroom and defib your sex life. Whether going all out with toys or just trying sex in a new place, there’s something to suit your fancy.
New Fine Arts is your one-stop shop for sex toys, sexy clothing, CBD products, and more. Find a store near you and stock up your bedroom with a new arsenal.